What Our Relationships Teach Us

What Our Relationships Teach Us

Hello Cosmic Revolutionary,

There were groups of tourists standing on my sidewalk admiring my side yard when I got home from the grocery store this past Saturday. At first, I thought they were following the route for our local art walk that wound between the two pottery studios on opposite ends of my block. But, as I pulled up into my driveway, I realized they were not meandering, but standing on the sidewalk in front of my house, pointing at our yard and talking.

There’s a big back story here that involves Human Design, marriage, and an architectural redemption arc…

Here goes.

My yard has been a HUGE point of contention in my marriage over the past year.

When we first moved into our house two years ago, the side yard was a lovely, shaded patch of winter grass – a nice place for our grandchildren to play – or so I thought…

Until my husband declared war on all the grass on our 1 acre property…

And decided that he would make a rain garden…

And install concrete flow forms to channel the rain…

And rip out all of the hostas and replace them with some “really cool” plants…

And add a Japanese meditation garden…

And change the flow of the water in the yard…

And build a pond…

And a patio….

And a trellis…

And install a pump….

All by himself in one season…

My husband is an architect, which might be self-explanatory to you if you know and/or love an architect.

My husband is full of ideas and LOVES change and experimentation.

I do not.

I like things to stay the same. I hate experiments – unless they are in a controlled environment and involve statistics.

Why am I sharing this with you?

I teach that our relationships present us with our biggest soul curriculum.

It’s in our relationships that we learn how to love and accept ourselves and each other. They reflect back to us our sacred flaws and what we need to heal in order to fulfill our true potential.

Apparently, my relationship has been reflecting back to me that I need to learn patience. (My Mercury highlights the Gate 20, the Gate of Patience, and I’m a Time Bender in Quantum Human Design.).

I’m going to be honest with you.

At the beginning of last summer (2023) when the bulldozers began to dig up the sideyard and my husband staked out his vision with about ten thousand pieces of rebar, red flags, and neon paint, I was optimistic that the project would be done in a couple of weeks.

(Cue the laugh track here…)

About 6 weeks in, when my husband was standing waist-deep in a big mud hole, frantically pouring concrete flow forms while all the retired gentlemen who live on the block were coming over and bringing their fancy large motorized “toys” with them – aka backhoes, bulldozers, jackhammers, etc. and hanging out in my kitchen making themselves “fancy coffee” with my espresso machine, I started to think that maybe things were getting a wee bit out of control.

(*If you don’t know what a flow form is – this is what it looks like)

They say that remodeling a home is a significant cause of marital stress. Well, I’d like to add, that so is a major landscaping project.

By the beginning of August, it was very (very!) clear that my 73-year-old husband was not even going to come remotely close to finishing the yard before winter, so I hired a crew of energetic 20-year-olds to help him. They dug and hammered and sawed and dug some more and eventually came to a good stopping place for the winter.

I was wildly disheartened by the project.

Our entire property had become a giant mud pit covered with tarps. We couldn’t enjoy the yard. All the plants had been murdered. Every time I looked out the window, all I saw was blue tarps and dirt – and eventually blue tarps and snow.

We weren’t even close to finishing the project and the idea of another summer of yard construction made me angry and frustrated. (I’m a Manifesting Generator/Time Bender!! I want things to happen FAST.)

Fast forward to this weekend.

When spring arrived this year, I put my foot down and told my husband that we had to hire a landscaping company to come and finish the yard. They came, worked for 8 days, and basically finished the project!

It’s been a big attraction in our small community all season.

This weekend when the tourists were standing on our front sidewalk, they were enamored with the beauty of our yard. (I sent my husband out to give them a tour. He was very, very proud!)

This experience has taught me a lot!

First of all, I owe my husband a huge apology. I couldn’t see his vision and I wasn’t patient enough to trust him and the process. (As I stated previously, this is a limitation in my Design that I have to consciously work with…)

Secondly, so many times we talk about Human Design and look at charts through the lens of “what” does the chart say?

I’d like to share with you a little about “how” understanding your chart goes beyond just knowing your chart and can be a vital tool to help you love and accept yourself – and your loved ones – in a grounded, practical, and deeply insightful way.

My husband is a Generator without a SINGLE LOGICAL GATE in his Human Design chart. That means that when my husband gets an idea, he isn’t always naturally good at breaking those ideas down into a linear, logical process.

In my chart, I have a LOT of Logical definition.

That means that I am good at helping my husband organize projects and make plans. (He’s so so so good at helping me see my fixed ideas from many different angles!!!) It made sense that I stepped in and helped with project management in our yard.

I’m a Time Bender/Manifesting Generator. I’m good at finding stability in situations because I am a 4/6 Profile. My husband is a 1/3 and needs to experiment as part of his process. These two aspects of our personalities are a wee bit tricky to navigate but I’ve learned to give him space to experiment and he respects my need for things to stay relatively stable.

For example, we have date nights on Saturdays.

We each get to “plan” two dates a month. On my date nights, we go to the same bar and I order the same wine. Every time. On his date nights, we try something new. It’s such a sweet and honoring way to make sure that both our needs are being met regularly and within the context of our togetherness. (And I’ve learned a LOT about letting go…)

I’m a Time Bender/Manifesting Generator. I have a need for speed. My Husband has a need to do things in his own time and in his own way. He is teaching me patience and the importance of doing my “homework” and not shooting from the hip all the time. I am teaching him to stop overanalyzing and just “do it”.

To learn more about Type HERE

To learn more about Profiles HERE

Knowing how to use our charts as a tool to help love and accept each other is an essential way that we integrate Human Design into our lives. This practical way of looking at the chart is a key element in the way that I teach you how to use your Human Design to create a genuinely juicy and fulfilling life.

Here’s to love, acceptance and learning!

Have a great week!

From my Heart to Yours,


What Our Relationships Teach Us – How Human Design Can Help You?

Why not download your FREE Human Design chart here? And for your loved ones too!

At its core, Human Design is a unique system that offers profound insights into your inner self and how you interact with the world around you. Your Human Design chart is a valuable tool that can help you understand your true nature, discover your strengths and weaknesses, and unlock your full potential.

By downloading and reviewing your unique Human Design Chart you are embarking on a journey of self-discovery that will empower you to make conscious choices in all aspects of your life. Your chart is an Energy Blueprint of your unique energy configuration and contains valuable information about your personality traits, your natural talents, and your life purpose. With this knowledge, you’ll navigate life’s challenges with greater ease and clarity.

Human Design is a deeply empowering system that encourages us to embrace our true selves, rewrite our personal narrative, and live in alignment with our inner wisdom. When we align with our authentic nature, we tap into a wellspring of creativity, joy, and fulfillment that flows effortlessly through us.

There’s More – How To Learn More About Human Design

If you are trying to learn and apply Human Design to your life circumstances, but traditional Human Design rings a little off-key, you don’t quite connect with it, or it feels heavy as you read it. We invite you to explore training options with Quantum Human Design, internationally respected and time-tested training courses.

These courses will empower you to create a life filled with more money, better relationships, health and vitality, a rewarding career, and experience profound personal transformation. 

Explore the life-changing options in our Quantum Human Design School

Curious about the difference between Human Design and Quantum Human Design? Karen Curry Parker explains it in this video:

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Jamila Jamie joined the team in 2020 and is now the Director of the Quantum Alignment System™, which is the advanced integrated Professional Training created by Karen Curry Parker that blends the Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), Quantum Human Design™, subtle body therapies (quantum essential oils & quantum flower essences) and traditional coaching. She is the point of contact from the moment you sign up for QAS Professional Training all the way through Certification. Jamila is the creator of the powerful Flower Essences used in this program.

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